starting over

Thanks to all of you who have sent your honest opinions, well wishes and support. I will not identify the people who have said that they agree with me by e-mail, I would never betray your confidentiality. I have also taken a big step today by setting up my orientation meeting for the foster-adopt program in our state and am supper excited! This step has also prompted me to continue posting on this blog. Dream mommy is right, what a wonderful way to document the way our child becomes apart of this family.
I have never disclosed this information before, but I am an adopted child who actually went through the foster-adopt program. I had a wonderful family and am grateful of that everyday. I am also a step-daughter. My adoptive father was killed in a car accident. My son also has a step-father, obviously my husband. Therefore, I am thrilled to have a chance to create a supportive, loving environment for a child who desperately deserves a family.
The first couple of questions the social worker asked seemed easy enough, but already my husband and I are contemplating our options. At first we were sure that we wanted a child who was younger than our son. Our logical thinking behind this was that we didn’t want to change the birth order. However, we have decided not to put limitations on who we will or will not accept. Boy, girl, baby, teenager, black, white, we will accept whoever is a right fit for our family. The orientation is on February 26th. Only one of us needs to be there for that meeting, but we both will need to be there for the classes that will start May 15th and that will continue for six weeks on Tuesdays, 6-9pm. Now we just need to find a babysitter for our boy while we are at the classes! After the orientation I believe that we will be starting the home study process that we have been told will take about 90 days. It is amazing that I will be “paper pregnant” very soon, and as dream mommy said I will probably have a placement by the end of the year!

Superbowl

I guess you do need a quarterback to win the superbowl? Guess we should get one.....

Not my posts, Not my words, Just my basis

*#2 - I really hate it when people comment anonymous. To the person that informed me about the beautiful "snowflake" organization, please don't treat me like I am stupid. I am fully aware of what a beautiful thing any type of adoption is - embyro or otherwise. What I don't like is being made to feel like a murderer if I don't give my two remaining frosties to adoption.

*This is about me people - not your mom or whatever MIL is cooking for her. MEEEEEEE!O.K., so sometimes the whole second wife thing sucks.

*And my stepkids? Love them but 2 out of 3 had strep throat this weekend. Has anyone ever taught these kids to cover there mouth when they cough? I'm feeling scratchy and I am not happy about it.

*Vasectomy Rant http://needleinmybum.blogspot.com/2006_09_01_archive.html

*I cannot accurately describe the jealousy involved in knowing that your husband went through childbirth 3 times with another woman. It's a pain that just won't go away. It's an underlying resentment that eats away at you.

*boohag" is the special name I use for his ex-wife.

*Why would he talk to me about boohag's pregnancies and say his vasectomy was a good idea? He said I backed him into a corner by saying his vasectomy was stupid.

*I have informed him that no matter what I say he is to never ever ever ever mention any details about boohags pregnancies or "trimesters" or anything regarding the fact that he has been through childbirth before. It is like stabbing me directly in the heart.

*If my mother in law tells me one more time that being a step-mom is the next best thing to being a mom I will scream. I love my step kids but it isn't even close. The kids are at our house every other weekend, 1 week at Christmas and 3 weeks in the summer. I know we are an influence on their lives but we don't have any direct say in the running of their day to day lives. I don't look at them and see myself in there faces. Their voices don't sound like mine as they are getting older.

*There is a special kind of pain that goes with infertility after vas-reversal. My husband has 3 children with his ex-wife. Because they decided not to use birth control, he had a vasectomy. We now have to suffer and pay for this awful decision he made with his ex-wife. When I see his children it breaks my heart.

*Even if IVF does work for us, the fact that I have to go through this needle in the bum crap and pay for it makes me really pisses me off. His ex-wife has since had her tubes tied which only makes me more bitter.

*He has finally figured out that if he puts a picture of boohag (the ex) up on a slide projector, I am going to fucking lose it. Now is not the time for me to see boohag at 24yrs old with their darling new baby (my great stepdaughter L).

*When I served this on the weekend, my oldest step daughter (13yrs) told me that I am definitely a better cook then her mom. I couldn't hide the smile.

*I think I might be punishing my husband. He gave his ex-wife three beautiful children in the easiest, most loving way and because of a decision they made (vasectomy), I have to go through hell and back to acheive the same. Am I trying to make him hurt as bad as I do?

*He just doesn't understand the pain of a stepmom on mothers day. I can't wait to see his mom and sister give the kids something to give there mom, that's a treat I look forward to every year!

* I have seen him cry many times. He's cried because he doesn't have his children full time.

*At the same time, hubbie was a newlywed and easily procreating (it stings my eye's to even write this). It never took him longer than 3 months of ttc to get the babies he wanted.

*I have a teeny tiny jealous streak so he knew better than to disagree.

JUST DONE

After tonight’s rants I have decided to stop blogging all together. It is true that I can’t keep my mouth shut and I never will. Also, honestly, it is bringing me down. Instead of playing with my son and hanging out with my husband tonight I was responding to someone who is not important to me at all. How could I be so blind? Not that you all don’t mean anything to me, but there are 2 people who I couldn’t live without, and I refuse to focus on anything thing else except them. I am going to live my life in the moment, and what will be, will be. I’m not saying that I won’t pursue adoption or try another IVF round, but it will be between my husband and me. If anyone would like to keep in touch just send me your e-mail addresses! GOOD LUCK AND THANK YOU!

*I will leave these posts up for another week. Seriously, I would love to hear your honest feed back about them, and also, about what you expect when you blog.

NEW RESPONSE

She has taken down all of our posts and has declared that now I am just boring her. Good! I'm glad that she can see that in the big picture I am insignificant

did not include one of my post

Here are the last of the posts I hope!

JFTIF:

I've deleted her again - why? Because I don't think she deserves traffic from my blog. But, I am certainly not a wimp and don't want to be seen as one so I'll don't mind reposting her comment for her.

But she deleted my last post below, so maybe I hit a nerve again!

My response:

Not a wimp? But not posting every response......What? Was the last one too true? I think you would rather assumptions they make you look better if you can believe it! Don't worry I have posted them all at my blog site so the truth will be shown. And the fact is that you have used my name and most people will have no problem finding me if they really wanted to. Again, you really are funny and you must think very highly of yourself!:)Don't worry I am done with you, obviously you can't stand for someone to disagree with you and I do on so many levels. Some people are just like that, I understand. Good bye and good luck.

I hope you all know that I am a very supportive person, but I just couldn't take her comments about her step-children. I knew that this was coming and I should have just stopped reading her site, but really I want the best for her, and the best thing right now is to just let it be. This has been a huge lesson for me....Don't get emotionally involved, but then what is the point????? If she was my friend, which I consider all of you to be, I would have said the same things. Sorry, but my style of friendship comes with a heaping of honesty. Maybe it is time to close this blog down. Oh, and for her to insinuate that I want her blog traffic is ridiculous, I guess she doesn't read my blog in which I stated I write for myself. Maybe I'll buy a journal:)

more responses

From JFTIB:

Ummm, no - you didn't post as anonymous because you want traffic from my attention whoring blog. And no, I didn't meet my husband until 6 months after his wife LEFT HIM. Sure, the divorce took 6 years but she was living with his best friend for months before we ever met. The assumptions never end.

My response:

No, you just keep twisting the truth he was someone's husband no matter what the circumstances were, and when you married him that would make the other woman his first wife and you his second. Also, I did state it as a question.I love your defensiveness, maybe I am wrong about you. And I also love your assumptions about me!!! You totally make me laugh! What’s that saying, the pot calling the kettle black? You really think highly of yourself and your blog, that’s good, I’m happy for you.

I guess I touched a nerve

Original post from Jenny from the Infertility Block:

Let's Define "Help"
The one topic I have stayed away from is my stepchildren. There are a few reasons but mainly because they are good kids. Even when they piss me off, I can step back and realize that they are teenagers and it could be alot worse. Sure, I wish the middle one wasn't the spitting image of her mother and that the youngest one would get a damn hair cut but these aren't major issue's. The kids are 14(girl), 13(girl) and 10(boy). I've been in their lives for almost 8 years now so we've been together for quite a while. We have them every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer. They live a little over an hour away from us. My biggest complaint has to do with me and the fact that I am not old enough to deal with teenagers, hell, wasn't I a teenager just yesterday?
So now we get into today's bitchfest topic.
My husband asked his 13yr old if she wants to stay for the entire summer to help take care of the baby.
Are you fucking kidding?
Maybe I'm new here but I don't think I'll need that much help with the baby from someone who has zero experience with babies. What I need is somebody to unload my dishwasher, fold the laundry or bring over a lasagne so I don't have to make diner. I don't need somebody to hold my baby until it poops and hand it back to me. Teenagers are lazy, it is just a simple fact. When they leave after a weekend I spend half an hour putting away nailpolish bottles, video games and junk food wrappers. I don't need another person to cook for and clean up after.
Summer is when friends take holidays and people do most of there visiting. I don't want to drag a 13yr old with me everywhere. Sure, it's great for hubbie because he works all day, he won't have to put up with an MTV/MSN junkie. We already have his kids for 3 weeks in the summer, that is enough. When they are here it's alot of work for me cooking, cleaning and entertaining them. Maybe I should go away for a weekend so he can refresh his memory?
The best part is that he did this without asking me. That's right, I didn't get asked, I got told.
There isn't much I can do now except hope that it doesn't happen. As much as I love my own company, I think that hanging out with your stepmom and a poopy baby would lose it's luster after a while.

My response:

"I agree that he should have asked you first, but this is his daughter not some guest. Is the house you reside in also hers? Unfortunately, it seems that you feel that she is not really a part of "your" family and that makes me sad. It also makes me sad that no one else has the guts to say this to you. The fact is that your husband already has children that he probably wishes could live with him all the time. This girl will be your child's sister. I think that if you set some ground rules and set up a chore chart like any child would have at their home you might find her to be very helpful. Don’t get me wrong I know that you want alone time with your child, you want that intimate time with your husband, and you should get it. But the reality is that this is your husband’s fourth child. Sometimes it seems like you don’t really know the situation you got yourself into. There are “firsts” that you two will not experience together. Oh, and not all teenagers are lazy. This could be a great opportunity to teach your daughter responsibility and work ethic. And again, your husband needs to be aware of your concerns and he to should pick up some of the slack once the baby is born. The comment that really bothers me and if my ex ever gets remarried I would tell him to run from someone who would say, “We already have his kids for 3 weeks in the summer, that is enough.” Really? Would that be enough time to spend with your biological child this summer? That again makes me very, very sad. Yes, children are a lot of work and one day your own child will be a teenager, but hopefully you won’t have the same attitude. I bit my tongue about your vasectomy rants, but when comes to his biological children I can’t. I just wish others wouldn't perpetuate your selfishness. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I have a child who might have a stepmother one day and I don't ever want him to feel second best or not at "home" because his father is re-married and about to have a baby. Also it is hard for me to understand the jealousy you feel towards your husbands life before you.....move on, you are blessed, focus on that. "

Her Response:

I can handle someone disagreeing with me. What I can't take is somebody making alot of assumptions about me. When you decide to do that, you put me in a defensive position in which I find it necessary to defend myself. So sorry to bore everybody but somebody needs to know that she doesn't fucking know me just because she reads my blog.

Just to get this out of the way.....EVERYBODY I know tells me I am the BEST stepmom they have ever seen. In fact, even my stepchildren tell me that I am the BEST stepmom in the world. Why? Because I treat them like gold.
The house that I RESIDE in is MY FUCKING HOUSE. There is one name on the deed, one name on the mortgage - MINE! I chose to buy a four bedroom house so that when my stepchildren are over, they are not all crammed into one room. The kids have beautiful big bedrooms with a ton of toys. More shit than alot of kids have, especially when they only spend 4 days a month at our house. No - MY HOUSE is not her permanent residence. I already said that they LIVE an hour away from us so isn't that obvious?
To say I don't feel like they are a part of my family? How dare you say that. My stepchildren were all in our wedding party and played an important part in our wedding because on that day, we became a family for life. In fact, the children were included in the vows. I don't call them my children because they aren't - that would be disrespecting their mother which I will not do. They are my stepchildren and they will be part of my family for the rest of my life. Every member of my family treats his children like they are there own.
Of course my husband wishes he had his children full time but it's not that way, and hasn't been for 8 years. If he does want to have them full time, I would support him, but he certainly needs to discuss it with me first as we are a FAMILY - I am not an outsider just because I came second.
"This girl will be my childs sister". Are you fucked? The most exciting part of this pregnancy was telling my stepchildren that they are going to have a brother or sister. They put their hands on my belly and feel the kicks. We stare at ultrasound pictures together. We ohhh and aww over how tiny newborn diapers are. For god sakes, the youngest one sticks his finger in my belly button to see if it's going to pop out soon. Yeah, I think I know that "this girl" will be my child's sister. I would never call her "this girl", she is my stepdaughter.
"I don't know the situation I got myself into". I can count on two fingers the number of times I have mentioned my stepchildren on this blog so how do you think you are qualified to know whether or not I know the situation I got myself into? What makes me such a great stepmom is the fact that I come from a divorced family so I have the view point of what it's like to be in my stepchildren's shoe's. Unless you have walked in both a stepchild's and a stepmom's shoe's, you will never know what I know.
You think I don't know that there are firsts we won't do together? I know our wedding was his second. I know that the birth of our baby will be his forth. Does my style of writing make you think that I am mentally incapable of understanding that?
The 3 weeks we have them every summer? That's when I take my 3 weeks vacation. That's right - I don't take a single week off alone with my husband. I spend my 3 weeks holidays each year entertaining and cleaning up after 3 children who I love because I want to, not because I am required to. Every holiday we take is organized around my stepchildren. Pardon me if I don't think that adjusting to being a full time mom is the right time to take on being a full time stepmom. Both roles require adjustment and I think I am being pretty damn smart in saying that I am not sure I can handle both at the same time.
Don't talk to me about teaching those children work ethic. How dare you assume that I don't? Everytime I make a big meal, I have the kids in the kitchen helping me so they can learn. More often than not, it would be quicker to do it myself, but I think it is important for them to learn.
I feel jealousy towards my husbands life before he met me? When have I ever said that? Or, wait, is it just another assumption you have made? I'm not even going to honor that with a response.
"I just wish others wouldn't perpetuate your selfishness". That's right friends - your comments on my blog are perpetuating my selfishness. Dear Robin doesn't think much of you either.
You know what Robin, go call your first wives meeting and bitch about evil stepmoms until the day you die. Your kids would be lucky to have a stepmom like me. I feel sorry for the woman that has to deal with you someday.
Oh and BTW, my husband and I talked about him inviting his daughter to live with us for the summer. I told him that while I would be o.k. with it, I was disappointed he didn't talk to me first. He understood and apologized. He also said that if she does decide to stay with us, we will make it very clear as to what is expected of her as a full time member of our household. Why, because we are a family and that's how we run OUR family.
p.s. - Statia's right, I really should have just ignored her but I am in a piss ass mood today (we were rear-ended last night, not a happy jenny today). Instead, I've deleted her comment and not linked to her in this post so that she doesn't get extra traffic that she doesn't deserve.

My Response:

I find it funny that my comment makes you so defensive, but I understand it because that’s how people react when they are in denial. And you’re right that I can only go by what you state about yourself on your blog when I prepare a response to a post. Honestly, at this point you still come off as someone who is so unhappy with the fact that your husband was married and had children before he met you. If that is not the case I am sorry, but that is what has been displayed to me. Maybe I shouldn’t have come on so strong, but I had a strong reaction to your words. Isn’t that the point of blogging. I re-read my comment and love the way that you dismiss any part in which I agree with you and focus only on parts that you feel will stir up other people’s opinions about me. I just know that as a step-daughter myself, yes you read that correctly, I would be devastated if either one of my parents would refer to me as lazy, or that I would be a burden to take along to their friends house, or that my house was not mine because they pay for it. Why don’t you let your step-daughter read this post and let her decide how she feels about it? I bet after reading it she wouldn’t want to spend the summer with you, and you would get exactly what you wanted.
If this new post displays your true feeling about your step-children then who was the person who wrote the other one stating that they are MTV/MSN junkies who have to be cleaned up after for a half an hour after they leave? That sounds like they understand work ethic to me. My child is four and he understands how to clean up after himself. However, I would never state that I was the BEST mother ever, but I do the best I can. I heard a great quote once, “when you are good at something you don’t need to tell anyone, everyone just knows.” Maybe you should think about that BEST STEPMOTHER EVER!
I was under the ASSUMPTION that you wanted real responses to your post. I also love that you back up my so called assumption with assumptions of your own. However, I don’t feel that I need to bullet point each one for emphasis, or to make me feel better about myself. And if you don’t want comments from people who disagree with your opinions on your blog why don’t you state that, or keep your thoughts to yourself. This way, people who aren’t just there to stroke your ego can stay away. The sad thing is is that I did like your blog and your stories and could relate to a lot of your life, but I just felt like you took it a step too far “bitching” about your step child spending time at your house. In fact, I cried when I read that you IVF was successful, I was cycling the same time as you and faced a BFN. But truly, I was thrilled that it was happening for you, and I have enjoyed reading about your pregnancy. But maybe you need to re-read some of your posts and maybe then you might see what you are putting out there for the rest of us to read, and unfortunately, interpret.
As for perpetuating, you’re right, I don’t want to surround my self with people who are not honest and who are not willing to help me face issues that might be hard for me to accept. Some people might just want what they term “supportive” comments and most of my comments are, but I also want reality. Obviously, that is not what you want. Oh, and that’s fine that you chose not to link me, LOL, because I am not concerned with how many people look at my blog, are you? Is that your motivation to write?
And I think you have misused the label fist wives club. Isn’t that for women who are divorced from their husbands because the husband left them for a younger, attractive women? Because the fact is I have been a first wife twice now and nether one of my husbands have left me for anyone. However, wasn’t your husband someone else’s husband when you first got together? Didn’t you make his wife part of the first wives club? Oh no, am I assuming again! It is preposterous and immature to assign me to a club because I care about my child’s feelings when I am not with him, not to mention I don’t think I meet the requirements to get in.
Lastly, the fact that you displayed my comment at all I guess does make you my “Bitch, Bitch.” What a pathetic way to get attention, I really ASSUMMED that you would have a bigger vocabulary.
The use of profanity, just another thing that we don’t agree on.


I could have just posted as an anonymous commenter, but I will always take responsibility for my words and the responses they provoke from others.


Anybody care to put me in my place? Maybe I need it?

Almost forgot!!!!

GO BEARS!!!!!!

MOVED!

Just when I think I have figured out all there is to know about blogging I can't seem to figure out how to write a new post. For some reason I have two sign in names? So now I know how to sign in two different ways, and I also know which sign in name allows me to write a new post. Both allow me to comment on all of your sites.

Anyway, we made it to Baton Rouge! We have been very busy looking at houses and getting estimates on the work that needs to be done on the one we really want. It needs a lot of up-dating including central air and heat, complete re-wiring, and a new roof. We also need to make plumbing repairs and modifications in the bathrooms and the kitchen, but everything else is just aesthetic, personal things we want to do. I will be happy once we close on the house and we can start the major work and finally move in! I will keep you all posted during the progress! One of the nicest things about the house is that it is right next to a great running trail and a super Wal-Mart!

Next in line is finding a school for my son. Now, in Baton Rouge the public schools are known to be not very good. However, we always intended our son to go to a Catholic school so it never mattered. We found the parish in which is closest to us and actually like the schools curriculum. There is an open house on Feb. 1st. I hope we like the school and that William meets the requirementsJ

I also want to sign William up for tee-ball and maybe my husband and I will be able to coach the team. There are also basketball leagues that I can join at the YMCA! That makes me very excited.

I’m also very excited about spending weekends in New Orleans when my ex comes to visit William. The first weekend will be Feb. 9th. It will be great for my husband and I to spend sometime together. We need it, We deserve it!

Once everything settles down a little we will start the foster adopt process. I figure it will take a while for it to be completed so we will have everything in order when we are placed with our child.

In the meanwhile I will be teaching William at home for the rest of the year. I brought all of the rest of the curriculum for the year from my class so that he will continue to learnJ I am glad that he and I will get to spend so much time together.

On a fertility note, I am day 8 and Big Bertha is showing an increase in fertility. WE will continue trying!

break through

Okay, I know I might sound dense here but I figured out that if I sign into my blog page first I will then be able to comment on everyone else's. Yes, I know, not brain surgery, but a break through none the less!

And I am still showing that my most fertile days are the 10th and 11th? Anyone else having such early ovulation?

long time, no post!

Sorry I haven't posted in so long!! For some reason I can't figure out my password/sign in name for my blogger? I know I must sound crazy, but I swear it changes day to day...LOL. This also means that I haven't been able to comment on anyone else's posts, but trust me I am reading. So this post is just going to be responding to my friend’s journeys.

1. Serenity, I am so glad they actually found something, something you had suspected all along. I am also thrilled that you are recovering so quickly, but honestly, I knew you would. I’m so excited for your new fresh cycle, I just know that it is going to happen for you.

2. Dream Mommy, you know that I am forever grateful for all you are doing for me with my whole move; I just hope that one day (soon) I can be helpful to you. You fight for that little boy; he needs your loving family so much. I know it is going to work out the way that it is suppose to and I can't wait for both of our families to be able to hang out! Really, anything, you name it, I will do it; that is the type of friend I am. Also on a side note my NEW, yes that's right I fired the old one, realtor is awesome and has given us lots of house to look at.

3. Faith, it seems like we have a lot in common fertility wise. I too have high FSH levels and antibody levels; I am now contemplating if I also have a touch of PCOS even though I am regular as rain and have no other symptoms. I wish you good luck with your impending IVF cycle, and am excited about your new doc, sounds like a keeper.

4. The impatient patient, thank you for sharing so much of your IVF life with us, you don't know how helpful it has been. Also, we are here for you no matter what!!! Give us your heart break, we will be careful with it, I promise.

In other news, the move to Baton Rouge is on a count down now. We are beyond excited! We will be going down there on Thurs.-Tues. so we can look for houses and check out our corporate apartment. And of course we will spend one night in the city I love the most to have dinner at our favorite restaurant Antoine's. I hope it doesn't snow here in Colorado and delay my flight, I will cry, seriously!

Side note: My ex-husband at one point said to just get this whole idea of moving to Louisiana out of my head because it is never going to happen. Last night, after I e-mailed and told him that we will be moving there he e-mailed back, guess your dream has come true......YOU BET YOUR ASS IT HAS!!!!!!!!!!!

Mis Amigas!!!!

Yes! More new friends, I am so excited and appreciative!!!!!

New Friend!!!

For awhile I was pretty depressed that no one would leave comments on my posts, but then I got over it and decided that this blog was really just a way for me to express my feelings. However, I have made a new friend in the new state that I will be living in, who actually grew up in the town that we are considering moving to!!! How blessed am I to have this person be so concerned about my well being? And the other great part is that she is going through the foster to adopt program that I will also be using hopefully within the next month or so. Oh, and she understands infertility, how many people can say they have a friend who knows what you are going through? Anyway, I am just totally excited and I can't wait to get down there even more now so I can help her out. Thank you Dream Mommy I couldn't do this without you!!!

changes

Well of course I got AF, and I was very sad , but I am excited about all of the other changes that are happening in my life! We are moving to Baton Rouge in just about a month. I now feel like my life is starting. No more graduate school, no more shitty paychecks and long hours, no more condo without a yard for my son or dog to play in, no more SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yesterday we got approved for a mortgage and we were sent some houses for our consideration (Her words not mine!) We can't wait to check them out in person. We will be traveling there on the Jan.11-16 to get our Barings and check out the corporate apartment we will be staying in. We need to set up the movers and so many other things......It is a little stressful, but so much fun!!!!!!

Insomniac

Can't sleep. Just know that tomorrow I will wake up and have AF and I will be devastated. It's amazing how fast and yet how slow 28 days can feel.

4 babies in 4 years

I met my friend Amy when both of our sons were 6 months old at a swimming class. For some reason we immediately clicked during class and we exchanged phone numbers. Now, I didn't call her and actually lost her phone number(threw it out), but out of the blue she called me and we set up Quinn and William's first play date on July 31st 2003(Which happens to be my birthday! ) After that day we got together probably at least once a week and then started to take park district classes together with our kids.
Long story short she started talking about getting pregnant again, and my situation with my first husband was not optimal for even thinking about having another child. Amy and her husband tried a month and nothing, so she was thinking about using my big bertha, but before she did she found out that she was pregnant again. I was thrilled for her. In fact, even if my relationship with my husband was ideal, I was enjoying spending time with my boy and wasn't ready to have another baby, as if I could plan it anyway:)
That next July Cate was born, and she was beautiful! A couple of weeks after she was born I moved out to Colorado. Around 9 months later Amy said that she was ready to have another baby but she hadn't gotten her period yet, because she was still nursing. So she figured that she would have to start taking birth control to get her period back. Except little did she know she was already pregnant, and Nora was Born in January. Beyond adorable!!!
Once again it has been about 9 months and I asked Amy if they were thinking about number 4 and she said they were, but she was pretty sure her Husband would be out town when she was ovulating in November. I called her this week and asked her if she was pregnant and she is! She did call me earlier that week to tell me, and I was just returning her call. That's one thing I love about Amy, she will never tip toe around me just because I am still ttc. I would rather hear it from her then her it through the grapevine.
But to be honest, after I told my husband about Amy's pregnancy, it hit me....HARD. Wow! She will have 3 kids in time I have been trying to have one more. I guess it is just something I have to live with, and I do.

A thought that made me feel better and laugh a little was about the future and when they are struggling to send 4 kids through college, I will be able to take cruises and drive around in my Mercedes, and retire.........But then again I'd rather struggle and have 4 great kids:( Don't worry my pity party usually only last an hour or so.

On a side note I haven’t been able to comment on any other sites cause I switched over to the beta blogger thingy and I can’t remember my password and it won’t tell me!!!!!!!!ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!I will figure it out soon, I promise.

CD 10 and 11

Well, big bertha showed me that I ovulate on day 10 and 11. Today is day 12 and big bertha still shows that I have a higher LH level. Who knew? Well actually, I had a clue.

CD9

Well big bertha is showing an increase in my LH levels, not ovualting yet, but an increse. Now, my bodies own ovulation kit, my angioedemia , is also showing me a surge in estrogen since the inside of my mouth and bottom lip are swelling, and let me tell you it sucks! It's painful and not to mention a tad bit embarrassing, no, inconvenent. It is hard to explain at the gym why half of my face looks like someone hit it with a baseball bat. At least maybe this means I ovulate, I just can't believe how early in my cycle it occurs. I'm still holding out for the actual identification of ovulation however before I make a conclusion. Wouldn't it be insane if I was just not getting pregnant because I wasn't having the sex on the right days? I'm sure that's not the case, but a girl can dream!

long time, no blog

I've tried to blog for a couple of days now, but blogger wouldn't let me.... I got AF on day 28 just like usual. Could a person who is so regular not ovulate? I will find out this month, I broke out big bertha, the clear plan easy ovulation monitor. That's right the one that when I bought it originally cost $250 bucks. 30 sticks cost $50.00 bucks. So I guess I will know for sure. I also bought the clear plan ovulation kit for back up. I know I sound crazy, but I NEED TO KNOW! I also decided not to use the clom.id I have this month so I can see if I ovulate by myself..... On a side note, when I conceived my son it was the month I decided not to use the kit. LOL:)

In other news, I am done with all my classes and tests for my Masters in Ed. All I have to do now is student teach. However, I can't start in January because hopefully my husband will find a job in another state and I won't be here for the whole 12 weeks. PJ, my DH, has a job interview in Baton Rouge, LA on Wed. I hope it goes well; I would love to live there! I know that he will impress and that the company will love him, honestly, it all comes down to the money. Show me the money! He also NEEDS to set up a defense date for his PHD in Chemistry. Yes, I know, what a nerd, but I love him so much!!!!