Today, I made reservations for my trips home for the holidays. Then, I saw on my calendar my son’s birthday, and the number 5. It took my breath away. I can’t believe that my baby is going to be 5 and I have no other children. Fuck, I’m not even a certified foster parent. I immediately blamed my 1st husband for wasting my youth!!! But in reality I’m not really sure it is his fault, but I will still blame him anyway :) I just want another child so much that I physically ache. I know I need to be patient, but isn’t 4 years long enough. Not to mention that I am sick of hearing about all of the celebrities who are pregnant or able to adopt a child easily. It is so infuriating! No more people.com for me!
On a different note my IF doctor here in BR called randomly just to see how things were going. It was wonderfully refreshing! We bitched about how insurance will pay for Viagra, but not birth control or IF related medicines. We talked about my options and there was no pressure either way. He really just cares. How many people can say that about their doctor? We’ll see. I might try a couple IUI’s since they are not that expensive and are painless. Honestly, I really don’t care how I get a child I just want to be able to raise and love one, be a parent, enjoy playing with them, and watch them evolve in to capable adults.
I feel better, but I still can’t dull the ache.
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6 comments:
i'm all up in your pity party! and definitely stay away from people.com. it's great that your doctor is so caring! how much longer before you get certified?
Really, you're doctor called to check on you? His partner must be much better. I stayed away for a few months and was hurt when noone tried to call and at least try to sell me some more expensive treatments!
Certification takes a LONG time. Once you're done, you'll be getting calls like crazy.
I've been waiting 3 1/2 years to be a mommy. It sucks. Hang in there. Call me if you need to gripe. Of course, if you wait nine more months I'm sure Bubbles will have another sibling again...
I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. I feel you on the pregnant celebrity front, trust me.
I think it's really cool that your doctor cares about you. Hang on to that one.
I say go in lay on the floor kick your feet and cry!!
I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time adding an addition to your family. I very much hope that your prayers are answered soon.
I can't believe your doctor called just to check up on you. What a wonderful doctor. Talk about a keeper!
Hang in there. Thinking of you!
-Faith
That is so nice to hear about a caring doctor, that's so rare. And yes, stay clear of people.com, I too am soooo over hearing about every preggers celeb out there. The wait seems to suck no matter how long one has been waiting, I'm on year two and it's not getting any easier. Grrr....
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