I had my first experience with baby mama drama on Wednesday when we met for the first time. Not from her, since she is bi-polar and schizophrenic, and is not in this world most of the time; but from the Volunteers of America who wanted to place the baby and her in a home even though she is clearly not capable of taking care of either of them. Not to mention she is still in a mental hospital and the doctor is the one who said that she is not capable, and that is why the baby was placed with us in the first place.
Anyway, we have a lawyer now and our case worker has assured us that VOA is contracted by the hospital and has no say over the baby. So even if she is placed by them, the baby will not go. The mother still needs to work her case plan just like everyone else who wants to get their children back. They have found “dad” and he supposedly wants to be involved, but is currently in a halfway house of sorts and has no family support. I think that VOA has a lot to do with him being “involved.” .
Needless to say I was a basket case. I couldn’t believe my ears. These people really think it would be in this child’s best interest to live in a residential home for his entire life with a woman who couldn’t remember who I was after ten minutes of visiting?!? They were trying to assure the case worker that there is 24 hour supervision at the home. Well, if you need 24 hour supervision to raise your baby, maybe you shouldn’t have your baby….
I cried most of the morning, and not for the fear of losing my sweet pea, but for the life he would be subjected to if he had to live with his mother. I really think that if I handed the baby over to my son, who is four, and said take care of him, he could do a better job. Not to mention he would get better with time since he would grow up and is able to learn new skills. Sweet pea’s mother will never be capable of living by herself. I just kept thinking my boy would probably end up in the same mental hospital or a juvenile home or jail or worse….
Okay, I am getting way ahead of myself and have promised to take this one day at a time. As the case worker said if mom wants him back she needs to work the plan and she hasn’t done anything yet. Also, they wanted to start visits while she was in the mental hospital to show to the courts that she is not capable. My husband is coming to the next visit so at least I won't feel so blind sided.
Keep us in your prayers....
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The Road
- 1 FSH test showing that I have old eggs which resulted in a nervous break down
- 1 month of clomid which resulted in a major cyst
- 1 IVF attempt that resulted in a broken heart
- Feb. 26th my first foster adopt meeting!
- June 13th renewed faith in my ability to conceive naturally.
10 comments:
Oh, Sweetie, I so know how you feel. I am so sorry. A big part of how sad I am about Baby Bear is not that he's not with us, it's the idea of what kind of life he will be subjected to.
It's really hard. Try not to think about what will eventually happen and just appreciate him now... I know that easier said than done, but it's really the only way that you can survive this.
Let me know if you ever need to talk, OK???
OMG - visits in a mental hospital??? How quaint!!!! I cannot fathom. I simply cannot fathom. What an incredible and awful situation for the birthparents and one that you will inevitably be party too as well. I am so, so sorry for YOUR birthparent situation as well. We are right in there with you!!
On a brighter note, the LOVE is amazing, isn't it? I love how you write about the baby & his big brother. It is special indeed!
oh, robin. i don't even know what to say about this. it just makes me nauseous and sad.
you're such an amazing person and such a great mom. it's so obvious in the way you write. i will keep you guys in my prayers, especially the little one.
And I thought the stories I have heard about prison visitations were bad. SO sorry to hear this. ((hugs))
And the drama begins. Fight like hell! Smiley and Bubbles' attorney is within driving distance to BR, so let me know if you don't find his current attorney competent enough.
You're beginning to see how screwed up the court systems are here. And my troll said I was making sh*t up.
I wouldn't worry about dad sticking around. Princess' dad was in jail in one parish, then when he finished that sentence, he had time to do in another parish. He said he wanted to work the caseplan to get Princess back, but there was no way he could.
They still should do dna test on "dad." He may not be the dad.
VOA needs to stay out of this. I would reccommend trying to get a CASA worker, but some are not as good as ours.
Keep fighting, this is only the beginning.
Oh yeah, mom does have to work her caseplan, and if she's not mentally capable, the doctor will note it in the report and there's no way(at least I hope not) that they will let him live with her.
TPR does take a bit longer when there's mental illness though.
hey you sorry I am late,,,,, You hang in there and keep you chin high,, God is way bigger then any caseworker or doctor who is crazy... Hang in there.
Man o man- praying for this one!! too- hang in there- visits are tough!
Holy Shit.
I didn't even know this was happening.
Oh darl, you will be firmly in my thoughts & prayers.
Oh wow. Just catching up with you. Prayers for you and babe.
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