Allegations

I got some great advice from all of you on my last post. Thank you. One subject that came up that really made me think was the possibility of allegations made by a foster child. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know this is a concern for some, but my husband and I both have agreed to put it in Gods hands. We can not let fear dictate how our family grows. In fact I will not let fear dictate any part of my life. However, we are not naïve and know to document EVERYTHING.
Another part of my life that many of you don’t know about is that I have been a head start teacher for many years. Head start is a government funded program for low income families. These families are expected to participate in and essential run the pre-school program for their children. It gives them a voice and teaches them how to be advocates for their children. Most of these families are very grateful for all that they are being offered and given, however, there are a few that really take advantage of the system. I unfortunately encountered one of these parents two years ago.
To just give you some background, this parent was separated (not legally though) from her husband and felt that he had no rights; even though we explained over and over again that unless there was legal documentation he could come and take their child at anytime; and there was nothing we could do about it. She also felt the need to be bossy and throw her weight around at every conceivable moment, and lastly, EXPECTED, special treatment just because.
Now, I had never dealt with a parent of this caliber before, but had it pretty well under control. However, the affects that the mother’s behavior had on her child were astounding. This child was unfortunately starting to think that she deserved special treatment and would push the limits in my classroom. She would also lie quite often for attention or to get her way; another trait she picked up from mom. One day, after class, I got a phone call from her mother; I do need to say that the mother did want to talk to me directly so I do respect that, but she told me that C had said that I had hit her in class that day. I assured her that it did not happen and she did say that she did not believe it but just had to check. However, I directed her to my supervisors to report the incident.
The moral of this story is that I had documented the mother’s and child’s behaviors from the beginning of the year and had reported all of it to both of my supervisors. Therefore, the allegations were not shocking, nor were they taken seriously or with any merit, because of my detailed documentation and communication with the necessary people. I guess what I am tring to say is that we or at least I am somewhat prepared.
On another note, my husband and I went to the book store this last weekend and were very discouraged and disappointed with the amount and the content of the adoption books available. One book that I did read for myself a couple of months ago, and recommend for anyone thinking about adopting is, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew. As an adoptive child I really felt that this book represented my journey. In fact, it helped me understand a lot of my own emotions and issues; some emotions and issues that I didn’t even know I had.
Still, I would love to get something that talks about trans-racial adoptions and adoptions of older children, and the issues that can arise in those situations. Any suggestions?