Saturday, February 24, 2007

And the winner is......

by Gigi Levangie Grazer
Gorgeous, funny, and wildly uninhibited, her exes are a veritable "Who's Who" of Hollywood power players. At 28 (31), she is blessed with a firm (if curvaceous) bod, a designer wardrobe, a Daddy-subsidized apartment, and an A-list speed-dial. But with her thirty-second birthday looming, our heroine is starting to panic. Who on earth (read: Hollywood) could possibly make Clarissa Alpert an honest woman? Enter Aaron Mason, the latest hottest new producer in town. From the moment Clarissa sees him, she sets her sights on making him the future "Mr. Alpert." With the eager help of her vivacious (if neurotic) friends, her aerobicized Latina mother, her philandering (but loving) ex-con father, and the most divine gay waiter in Hollywood, Clarissa finds herself phoning the florist to the stars (his private line) and planning the biggest wedding the town has seen in years -- before the couple's first date. Catching Aaron's eye is not a problem. But it seems her intended might have his own agenda. Could it be Clarissa has finally bitten off more than she can chew?

*I figure we will probably get to them all so let's start with a juicy, guilty pleasure! I hope that more people will join us this month, this really will be a lot of fun!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Going once, going twice.....

So far no one really cares which of the books we read, I am going to give it one more full day to see if anyone else has an opinion either way and then I will announce it tonight!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Read with me?

And the contenders are........

Mr. Maybe
by Jane Green
To Libby Mason, Mr. Right has always meant Mr. Rich. A twenty-seven-year-old publicist, she's barely able to afford her fashionable and fabulous lifestyle, and often has to foot the bill for dates with Struggling Writer Nick, a sexy but perpetually strapped-for-cash guy she's dating (no commitments -- really). So when Ed, Britain's wealthiest but stodgiest bachelor, enters the picture, her idea of the fairy-tale romance is turned on its head. Libby soon finds herself weighing the advantages of Nick's sexual prowess and tender heart against Ed's luxurious lifestyle and unlimited retail therapy. But when the diamond shopping commences, Libby is forced to realize that the time for "maybe" is up.

The Pact
by Jennifer Sturman

Rachel Benjamin and her four college girlfriends promise to keep each other from romancing unlikable men by whatever means necessary. A decade later, the still-close group reunites at a lavish Adirondack vacation home for the wedding of one member to the utterly despicable Richard. The rehearsal dinner finds the friends lamenting the senseless match and their inability to keep the pact, but their distress doesn't last long: on the morning of the wedding, Rachel discovers Richard dead in the pool. Suddenly, the house guests—including the girlfriends, the bride's parents and the groom's attractive best man, Peter—are all suspects. While policemen survey the scene, Rachel embarks on a well-intentioned, clumsy and often-misguided search for the murderer and an equally awkward romantic pursuit of Peter. Quirky Rachel aside, the characters are one-dimensional, and the dialogue is superficial; Sturman's writing is comic, but laden with clichés. So why is this debut so thoroughly enjoyable? Perhaps it's because Rachel is such a winning detective: she sifts through clues at the reader's pace and does so with wit and pluck. The novel's mise-en-scène—successful, attractive Ivy League graduates at a lakeside mansion—makes for escapist pleasure, and well-placed cliffhangers, a careful distribution of motives and unexpected twists promise readers light, satisfying suspense.

Waiting for Daisy
by Peggy Orenstein
Orenstein now offers a very personal account of her road to becoming a mother. Orenstein was a happily married 35-year-old when she decided she wanted to have a baby. While she knew it might not be easy (she had only one ovary and was heading into her late 30s), she had no idea of the troubles she'd face. First, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, fortunately treatable. After waiting the recommended recovery period, she miscarried with a dangerous "partial molar pregnancy," so she had to avoid becoming pregnant for at least six months. Soon she was riding the infertility roller coaster full-time, trying everything from acupuncture to IVF and egg donation. She endured depression and more miscarriages while spending untold thousands of dollars. Even her very understanding husband was beginning to lose patience, when, surprisingly, she got pregnant with her daughter, Daisy. While readers don't have to be fertility obsessed to enjoy this very witty memoir (with its ungainly subtitle), for the growing number of women struggling with infertility this book may become their new best friend. (Feb.)

The Girls' Almanac
by Emily Franklin

The Girls' Almanac chronicles the lives of Jenna and Lucy—two thirty-something women who desperately long for a true friend—as well as the lives of the women and men who have touched them: friends, lovers, parents, and neighbors. Set across the Northeast—through suburban neighborhoods, preppy camps, island resorts, and Ivy League colleges—as well as far flung locales like Ecuador and Iceland, The Girls' Almanac traces the friendships of women willing to risk both self-consciousness and intimacy, loss and betrayal, in pursuit of a proper best friend. Exploring the fascinating closeness and distance that female friendships encompass, The Girls' Almanac reveals the map of Jenna and Lucy's interconnected lives, and ultimately their pathways to each other.

by Gigi Levangie Grazer
Gorgeous, funny, and wildly uninhibited, her exes are a veritable "Who's Who" of Hollywood power players. At 28 (31), she is blessed with a firm (if curvaceous) bod, a designer wardrobe, a Daddy-subsidized apartment, and an A-list speed-dial. But with her thirty-second birthday looming, our heroine is starting to panic. Who on earth (read: Hollywood) could possibly make Clarissa Alpert an honest woman? Enter Aaron Mason, the latest hottest new producer in town. From the moment Clarissa sees him, she sets her sights on making him the future "Mr. Alpert." With the eager help of her vivacious (if neurotic) friends, her aerobicized Latina mother, her philandering (but loving) ex-con father, and the most divine gay waiter in Hollywood, Clarissa finds herself phoning the florist to the stars (his private line) and planning the biggest wedding the town has seen in years -- before the couple's first date. Catching Aaron's eye is not a problem. But it seems her intended might have his own agenda. Could it be Clarissa has finally bitten off more than she can chew?

If anyone has any other suggestions let me know so they can be posted before we take a vote. We will vote on Thursday of this week and the book we will be reading will be announced on Friday. We will discuss our selection the week of March 26th . I figure that each one of us could come up with a topic from the book to be discussed during that week, but we will play it by ear. I am up for any and all suggestions!

Monday, February 19, 2007

Book Club Anyone?

I was just thinking that if anyone else is interested we could start a blog book club! I love to read as they call it chick lit and it helps me take my mind off everything else. I just thought it would be fun to pick a book a month and then blog about it, good/bad etc… I don’t know, wouldn’t it be fun to get to know each other through our book selections? They could even be books about adoption or anything that might interest you. What do you think?

Moving on...

I haven’t posted in awhile; I am still recovering from the funeral. I guess I didn’t realize how hard it would actually hit me. The service and funeral were beautiful. Princess looked absolutely precious, and the love from her mother and father was felt through out the whole room. I just wish there was more that I could do for Dream Mommy.

I had another bout of my angioedema, swelling occurred in my tounge and lips, I looked pretty funny:P Unfortunaetly, all it does is remind me of my failed IVF.

On a positive note, we received our invitation for the foster to adopt orientation. I am excited and can’t wait! I love reading about everyone elses experiences and will be curious to see what emotions these classes will stir up in me since I too was once a part of the program….

Thursday, February 15, 2007

My friend

I just talked to dream mommy for the first time ever today. Well, in the sense that I actually heard her voice. What a wonderful, compassionate, REAL person. I will be attending princess's funeral tomorrow and feel honored to do so. I just wish there was something more I could do for this person who has always gone out of her way to be helpful to me. The best thing about Dream Mommy is that she has a heart gold, and the reason she is so nice is just because that is who she is. There is no pretense with this woman. I feel lucky to call her my friend. Please continue to send your prayers and good thoughts her way.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


Please send your prayers to DREAM MOMMY and her family. Her little girl is in the hospital because she stopped breathing at daycare. Prayers, prayers, prayers!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Good Day!

I had a blast with my son today! It was just very relaxed and carefree. It's so great when when you can just sit back and enjoy each other's company.

Sunday, February 11, 2007


I got some great advice from all of you on my last post. Thank you. One subject that came up that really made me think was the possibility of allegations made by a foster child. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know this is a concern for some, but my husband and I both have agreed to put it in Gods hands. We can not let fear dictate how our family grows. In fact I will not let fear dictate any part of my life. However, we are not naïve and know to document EVERYTHING.
Another part of my life that many of you don’t know about is that I have been a head start teacher for many years. Head start is a government funded program for low income families. These families are expected to participate in and essential run the pre-school program for their children. It gives them a voice and teaches them how to be advocates for their children. Most of these families are very grateful for all that they are being offered and given, however, there are a few that really take advantage of the system. I unfortunately encountered one of these parents two years ago.
To just give you some background, this parent was separated (not legally though) from her husband and felt that he had no rights; even though we explained over and over again that unless there was legal documentation he could come and take their child at anytime; and there was nothing we could do about it. She also felt the need to be bossy and throw her weight around at every conceivable moment, and lastly, EXPECTED, special treatment just because.
Now, I had never dealt with a parent of this caliber before, but had it pretty well under control. However, the affects that the mother’s behavior had on her child were astounding. This child was unfortunately starting to think that she deserved special treatment and would push the limits in my classroom. She would also lie quite often for attention or to get her way; another trait she picked up from mom. One day, after class, I got a phone call from her mother; I do need to say that the mother did want to talk to me directly so I do respect that, but she told me that C had said that I had hit her in class that day. I assured her that it did not happen and she did say that she did not believe it but just had to check. However, I directed her to my supervisors to report the incident.
The moral of this story is that I had documented the mother’s and child’s behaviors from the beginning of the year and had reported all of it to both of my supervisors. Therefore, the allegations were not shocking, nor were they taken seriously or with any merit, because of my detailed documentation and communication with the necessary people. I guess what I am tring to say is that we or at least I am somewhat prepared.
On another note, my husband and I went to the book store this last weekend and were very discouraged and disappointed with the amount and the content of the adoption books available. One book that I did read for myself a couple of months ago, and recommend for anyone thinking about adopting is, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew. As an adoptive child I really felt that this book represented my journey. In fact, it helped me understand a lot of my own emotions and issues; some emotions and issues that I didn’t even know I had.
Still, I would love to get something that talks about trans-racial adoptions and adoptions of older children, and the issues that can arise in those situations. Any suggestions?

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

starting over

Thanks to all of you who have sent your honest opinions, well wishes and support. I will not identify the people who have said that they agree with me by e-mail, I would never betray your confidentiality. I have also taken a big step today by setting up my orientation meeting for the foster-adopt program in our state and am supper excited! This step has also prompted me to continue posting on this blog. Dream mommy is right, what a wonderful way to document the way our child becomes apart of this family.
I have never disclosed this information before, but I am an adopted child who actually went through the foster-adopt program. I had a wonderful family and am grateful of that everyday. I am also a step-daughter. My adoptive father was killed in a car accident. My son also has a step-father, obviously my husband. Therefore, I am thrilled to have a chance to create a supportive, loving environment for a child who desperately deserves a family.
The first couple of questions the social worker asked seemed easy enough, but already my husband and I are contemplating our options. At first we were sure that we wanted a child who was younger than our son. Our logical thinking behind this was that we didn’t want to change the birth order. However, we have decided not to put limitations on who we will or will not accept. Boy, girl, baby, teenager, black, white, we will accept whoever is a right fit for our family. The orientation is on February 26th. Only one of us needs to be there for that meeting, but we both will need to be there for the classes that will start May 15th and that will continue for six weeks on Tuesdays, 6-9pm. Now we just need to find a babysitter for our boy while we are at the classes! After the orientation I believe that we will be starting the home study process that we have been told will take about 90 days. It is amazing that I will be “paper pregnant” very soon, and as dream mommy said I will probably have a placement by the end of the year!

Monday, February 05, 2007


I guess you do need a quarterback to win the superbowl? Guess we should get one.....

Friday, February 02, 2007

Not my posts, Not my words, Just my basis

*#2 - I really hate it when people comment anonymous. To the person that informed me about the beautiful "snowflake" organization, please don't treat me like I am stupid. I am fully aware of what a beautiful thing any type of adoption is - embyro or otherwise. What I don't like is being made to feel like a murderer if I don't give my two remaining frosties to adoption.

*This is about me people - not your mom or whatever MIL is cooking for her. MEEEEEEE!O.K., so sometimes the whole second wife thing sucks.

*And my stepkids? Love them but 2 out of 3 had strep throat this weekend. Has anyone ever taught these kids to cover there mouth when they cough? I'm feeling scratchy and I am not happy about it.

*Vasectomy Rant

*I cannot accurately describe the jealousy involved in knowing that your husband went through childbirth 3 times with another woman. It's a pain that just won't go away. It's an underlying resentment that eats away at you.

*boohag" is the special name I use for his ex-wife.

*Why would he talk to me about boohag's pregnancies and say his vasectomy was a good idea? He said I backed him into a corner by saying his vasectomy was stupid.

*I have informed him that no matter what I say he is to never ever ever ever mention any details about boohags pregnancies or "trimesters" or anything regarding the fact that he has been through childbirth before. It is like stabbing me directly in the heart.

*If my mother in law tells me one more time that being a step-mom is the next best thing to being a mom I will scream. I love my step kids but it isn't even close. The kids are at our house every other weekend, 1 week at Christmas and 3 weeks in the summer. I know we are an influence on their lives but we don't have any direct say in the running of their day to day lives. I don't look at them and see myself in there faces. Their voices don't sound like mine as they are getting older.

*There is a special kind of pain that goes with infertility after vas-reversal. My husband has 3 children with his ex-wife. Because they decided not to use birth control, he had a vasectomy. We now have to suffer and pay for this awful decision he made with his ex-wife. When I see his children it breaks my heart.

*Even if IVF does work for us, the fact that I have to go through this needle in the bum crap and pay for it makes me really pisses me off. His ex-wife has since had her tubes tied which only makes me more bitter.

*He has finally figured out that if he puts a picture of boohag (the ex) up on a slide projector, I am going to fucking lose it. Now is not the time for me to see boohag at 24yrs old with their darling new baby (my great stepdaughter L).

*When I served this on the weekend, my oldest step daughter (13yrs) told me that I am definitely a better cook then her mom. I couldn't hide the smile.

*I think I might be punishing my husband. He gave his ex-wife three beautiful children in the easiest, most loving way and because of a decision they made (vasectomy), I have to go through hell and back to acheive the same. Am I trying to make him hurt as bad as I do?

*He just doesn't understand the pain of a stepmom on mothers day. I can't wait to see his mom and sister give the kids something to give there mom, that's a treat I look forward to every year!

* I have seen him cry many times. He's cried because he doesn't have his children full time.

*At the same time, hubbie was a newlywed and easily procreating (it stings my eye's to even write this). It never took him longer than 3 months of ttc to get the babies he wanted.

*I have a teeny tiny jealous streak so he knew better than to disagree.

Thursday, February 01, 2007


After tonight’s rants I have decided to stop blogging all together. It is true that I can’t keep my mouth shut and I never will. Also, honestly, it is bringing me down. Instead of playing with my son and hanging out with my husband tonight I was responding to someone who is not important to me at all. How could I be so blind? Not that you all don’t mean anything to me, but there are 2 people who I couldn’t live without, and I refuse to focus on anything thing else except them. I am going to live my life in the moment, and what will be, will be. I’m not saying that I won’t pursue adoption or try another IVF round, but it will be between my husband and me. If anyone would like to keep in touch just send me your e-mail addresses! GOOD LUCK AND THANK YOU!

*I will leave these posts up for another week. Seriously, I would love to hear your honest feed back about them, and also, about what you expect when you blog.


She has taken down all of our posts and has declared that now I am just boring her. Good! I'm glad that she can see that in the big picture I am insignificant

did not include one of my post

Here are the last of the posts I hope!


I've deleted her again - why? Because I don't think she deserves traffic from my blog. But, I am certainly not a wimp and don't want to be seen as one so I'll don't mind reposting her comment for her.

But she deleted my last post below, so maybe I hit a nerve again!

My response:

Not a wimp? But not posting every response......What? Was the last one too true? I think you would rather assumptions they make you look better if you can believe it! Don't worry I have posted them all at my blog site so the truth will be shown. And the fact is that you have used my name and most people will have no problem finding me if they really wanted to. Again, you really are funny and you must think very highly of yourself!:)Don't worry I am done with you, obviously you can't stand for someone to disagree with you and I do on so many levels. Some people are just like that, I understand. Good bye and good luck.

I hope you all know that I am a very supportive person, but I just couldn't take her comments about her step-children. I knew that this was coming and I should have just stopped reading her site, but really I want the best for her, and the best thing right now is to just let it be. This has been a huge lesson for me....Don't get emotionally involved, but then what is the point????? If she was my friend, which I consider all of you to be, I would have said the same things. Sorry, but my style of friendship comes with a heaping of honesty. Maybe it is time to close this blog down. Oh, and for her to insinuate that I want her blog traffic is ridiculous, I guess she doesn't read my blog in which I stated I write for myself. Maybe I'll buy a journal:)

more responses


Ummm, no - you didn't post as anonymous because you want traffic from my attention whoring blog. And no, I didn't meet my husband until 6 months after his wife LEFT HIM. Sure, the divorce took 6 years but she was living with his best friend for months before we ever met. The assumptions never end.

My response:

No, you just keep twisting the truth he was someone's husband no matter what the circumstances were, and when you married him that would make the other woman his first wife and you his second. Also, I did state it as a question.I love your defensiveness, maybe I am wrong about you. And I also love your assumptions about me!!! You totally make me laugh! What’s that saying, the pot calling the kettle black? You really think highly of yourself and your blog, that’s good, I’m happy for you.

I guess I touched a nerve

Original post from Jenny from the Infertility Block:

Let's Define "Help"
The one topic I have stayed away from is my stepchildren. There are a few reasons but mainly because they are good kids. Even when they piss me off, I can step back and realize that they are teenagers and it could be alot worse. Sure, I wish the middle one wasn't the spitting image of her mother and that the youngest one would get a damn hair cut but these aren't major issue's. The kids are 14(girl), 13(girl) and 10(boy). I've been in their lives for almost 8 years now so we've been together for quite a while. We have them every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer. They live a little over an hour away from us. My biggest complaint has to do with me and the fact that I am not old enough to deal with teenagers, hell, wasn't I a teenager just yesterday?
So now we get into today's bitchfest topic.
My husband asked his 13yr old if she wants to stay for the entire summer to help take care of the baby.
Are you fucking kidding?
Maybe I'm new here but I don't think I'll need that much help with the baby from someone who has zero experience with babies. What I need is somebody to unload my dishwasher, fold the laundry or bring over a lasagne so I don't have to make diner. I don't need somebody to hold my baby until it poops and hand it back to me. Teenagers are lazy, it is just a simple fact. When they leave after a weekend I spend half an hour putting away nailpolish bottles, video games and junk food wrappers. I don't need another person to cook for and clean up after.
Summer is when friends take holidays and people do most of there visiting. I don't want to drag a 13yr old with me everywhere. Sure, it's great for hubbie because he works all day, he won't have to put up with an MTV/MSN junkie. We already have his kids for 3 weeks in the summer, that is enough. When they are here it's alot of work for me cooking, cleaning and entertaining them. Maybe I should go away for a weekend so he can refresh his memory?
The best part is that he did this without asking me. That's right, I didn't get asked, I got told.
There isn't much I can do now except hope that it doesn't happen. As much as I love my own company, I think that hanging out with your stepmom and a poopy baby would lose it's luster after a while.

My response:

"I agree that he should have asked you first, but this is his daughter not some guest. Is the house you reside in also hers? Unfortunately, it seems that you feel that she is not really a part of "your" family and that makes me sad. It also makes me sad that no one else has the guts to say this to you. The fact is that your husband already has children that he probably wishes could live with him all the time. This girl will be your child's sister. I think that if you set some ground rules and set up a chore chart like any child would have at their home you might find her to be very helpful. Don’t get me wrong I know that you want alone time with your child, you want that intimate time with your husband, and you should get it. But the reality is that this is your husband’s fourth child. Sometimes it seems like you don’t really know the situation you got yourself into. There are “firsts” that you two will not experience together. Oh, and not all teenagers are lazy. This could be a great opportunity to teach your daughter responsibility and work ethic. And again, your husband needs to be aware of your concerns and he to should pick up some of the slack once the baby is born. The comment that really bothers me and if my ex ever gets remarried I would tell him to run from someone who would say, “We already have his kids for 3 weeks in the summer, that is enough.” Really? Would that be enough time to spend with your biological child this summer? That again makes me very, very sad. Yes, children are a lot of work and one day your own child will be a teenager, but hopefully you won’t have the same attitude. I bit my tongue about your vasectomy rants, but when comes to his biological children I can’t. I just wish others wouldn't perpetuate your selfishness. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I have a child who might have a stepmother one day and I don't ever want him to feel second best or not at "home" because his father is re-married and about to have a baby. Also it is hard for me to understand the jealousy you feel towards your husbands life before you.....move on, you are blessed, focus on that. "

Her Response:

I can handle someone disagreeing with me. What I can't take is somebody making alot of assumptions about me. When you decide to do that, you put me in a defensive position in which I find it necessary to defend myself. So sorry to bore everybody but somebody needs to know that she doesn't fucking know me just because she reads my blog.

Just to get this out of the way.....EVERYBODY I know tells me I am the BEST stepmom they have ever seen. In fact, even my stepchildren tell me that I am the BEST stepmom in the world. Why? Because I treat them like gold.
The house that I RESIDE in is MY FUCKING HOUSE. There is one name on the deed, one name on the mortgage - MINE! I chose to buy a four bedroom house so that when my stepchildren are over, they are not all crammed into one room. The kids have beautiful big bedrooms with a ton of toys. More shit than alot of kids have, especially when they only spend 4 days a month at our house. No - MY HOUSE is not her permanent residence. I already said that they LIVE an hour away from us so isn't that obvious?
To say I don't feel like they are a part of my family? How dare you say that. My stepchildren were all in our wedding party and played an important part in our wedding because on that day, we became a family for life. In fact, the children were included in the vows. I don't call them my children because they aren't - that would be disrespecting their mother which I will not do. They are my stepchildren and they will be part of my family for the rest of my life. Every member of my family treats his children like they are there own.
Of course my husband wishes he had his children full time but it's not that way, and hasn't been for 8 years. If he does want to have them full time, I would support him, but he certainly needs to discuss it with me first as we are a FAMILY - I am not an outsider just because I came second.
"This girl will be my childs sister". Are you fucked? The most exciting part of this pregnancy was telling my stepchildren that they are going to have a brother or sister. They put their hands on my belly and feel the kicks. We stare at ultrasound pictures together. We ohhh and aww over how tiny newborn diapers are. For god sakes, the youngest one sticks his finger in my belly button to see if it's going to pop out soon. Yeah, I think I know that "this girl" will be my child's sister. I would never call her "this girl", she is my stepdaughter.
"I don't know the situation I got myself into". I can count on two fingers the number of times I have mentioned my stepchildren on this blog so how do you think you are qualified to know whether or not I know the situation I got myself into? What makes me such a great stepmom is the fact that I come from a divorced family so I have the view point of what it's like to be in my stepchildren's shoe's. Unless you have walked in both a stepchild's and a stepmom's shoe's, you will never know what I know.
You think I don't know that there are firsts we won't do together? I know our wedding was his second. I know that the birth of our baby will be his forth. Does my style of writing make you think that I am mentally incapable of understanding that?
The 3 weeks we have them every summer? That's when I take my 3 weeks vacation. That's right - I don't take a single week off alone with my husband. I spend my 3 weeks holidays each year entertaining and cleaning up after 3 children who I love because I want to, not because I am required to. Every holiday we take is organized around my stepchildren. Pardon me if I don't think that adjusting to being a full time mom is the right time to take on being a full time stepmom. Both roles require adjustment and I think I am being pretty damn smart in saying that I am not sure I can handle both at the same time.
Don't talk to me about teaching those children work ethic. How dare you assume that I don't? Everytime I make a big meal, I have the kids in the kitchen helping me so they can learn. More often than not, it would be quicker to do it myself, but I think it is important for them to learn.
I feel jealousy towards my husbands life before he met me? When have I ever said that? Or, wait, is it just another assumption you have made? I'm not even going to honor that with a response.
"I just wish others wouldn't perpetuate your selfishness". That's right friends - your comments on my blog are perpetuating my selfishness. Dear Robin doesn't think much of you either.
You know what Robin, go call your first wives meeting and bitch about evil stepmoms until the day you die. Your kids would be lucky to have a stepmom like me. I feel sorry for the woman that has to deal with you someday.
Oh and BTW, my husband and I talked about him inviting his daughter to live with us for the summer. I told him that while I would be o.k. with it, I was disappointed he didn't talk to me first. He understood and apologized. He also said that if she does decide to stay with us, we will make it very clear as to what is expected of her as a full time member of our household. Why, because we are a family and that's how we run OUR family.
p.s. - Statia's right, I really should have just ignored her but I am in a piss ass mood today (we were rear-ended last night, not a happy jenny today). Instead, I've deleted her comment and not linked to her in this post so that she doesn't get extra traffic that she doesn't deserve.

My Response:

I find it funny that my comment makes you so defensive, but I understand it because that’s how people react when they are in denial. And you’re right that I can only go by what you state about yourself on your blog when I prepare a response to a post. Honestly, at this point you still come off as someone who is so unhappy with the fact that your husband was married and had children before he met you. If that is not the case I am sorry, but that is what has been displayed to me. Maybe I shouldn’t have come on so strong, but I had a strong reaction to your words. Isn’t that the point of blogging. I re-read my comment and love the way that you dismiss any part in which I agree with you and focus only on parts that you feel will stir up other people’s opinions about me. I just know that as a step-daughter myself, yes you read that correctly, I would be devastated if either one of my parents would refer to me as lazy, or that I would be a burden to take along to their friends house, or that my house was not mine because they pay for it. Why don’t you let your step-daughter read this post and let her decide how she feels about it? I bet after reading it she wouldn’t want to spend the summer with you, and you would get exactly what you wanted.
If this new post displays your true feeling about your step-children then who was the person who wrote the other one stating that they are MTV/MSN junkies who have to be cleaned up after for a half an hour after they leave? That sounds like they understand work ethic to me. My child is four and he understands how to clean up after himself. However, I would never state that I was the BEST mother ever, but I do the best I can. I heard a great quote once, “when you are good at something you don’t need to tell anyone, everyone just knows.” Maybe you should think about that BEST STEPMOTHER EVER!
I was under the ASSUMPTION that you wanted real responses to your post. I also love that you back up my so called assumption with assumptions of your own. However, I don’t feel that I need to bullet point each one for emphasis, or to make me feel better about myself. And if you don’t want comments from people who disagree with your opinions on your blog why don’t you state that, or keep your thoughts to yourself. This way, people who aren’t just there to stroke your ego can stay away. The sad thing is is that I did like your blog and your stories and could relate to a lot of your life, but I just felt like you took it a step too far “bitching” about your step child spending time at your house. In fact, I cried when I read that you IVF was successful, I was cycling the same time as you and faced a BFN. But truly, I was thrilled that it was happening for you, and I have enjoyed reading about your pregnancy. But maybe you need to re-read some of your posts and maybe then you might see what you are putting out there for the rest of us to read, and unfortunately, interpret.
As for perpetuating, you’re right, I don’t want to surround my self with people who are not honest and who are not willing to help me face issues that might be hard for me to accept. Some people might just want what they term “supportive” comments and most of my comments are, but I also want reality. Obviously, that is not what you want. Oh, and that’s fine that you chose not to link me, LOL, because I am not concerned with how many people look at my blog, are you? Is that your motivation to write?
And I think you have misused the label fist wives club. Isn’t that for women who are divorced from their husbands because the husband left them for a younger, attractive women? Because the fact is I have been a first wife twice now and nether one of my husbands have left me for anyone. However, wasn’t your husband someone else’s husband when you first got together? Didn’t you make his wife part of the first wives club? Oh no, am I assuming again! It is preposterous and immature to assign me to a club because I care about my child’s feelings when I am not with him, not to mention I don’t think I meet the requirements to get in.
Lastly, the fact that you displayed my comment at all I guess does make you my “Bitch, Bitch.” What a pathetic way to get attention, I really ASSUMMED that you would have a bigger vocabulary.
The use of profanity, just another thing that we don’t agree on.

I could have just posted as an anonymous commenter, but I will always take responsibility for my words and the responses they provoke from others.

Anybody care to put me in my place? Maybe I need it?