Thanks to all of you who have sent your honest opinions, well wishes and support. I will not identify the people who have said that they agree with me by e-mail, I would never betray your confidentiality. I have also taken a big step today by setting up my orientation meeting for the foster-adopt program in our state and am supper excited! This step has also prompted me to continue posting on this blog. Dream mommy is right, what a wonderful way to document the way our child becomes apart of this family.
I have never disclosed this information before, but I am an adopted child who actually went through the foster-adopt program. I had a wonderful family and am grateful of that everyday. I am also a step-daughter. My adoptive father was killed in a car accident. My son also has a step-father, obviously my husband. Therefore, I am thrilled to have a chance to create a supportive, loving environment for a child who desperately deserves a family.
The first couple of questions the social worker asked seemed easy enough, but already my husband and I are contemplating our options. At first we were sure that we wanted a child who was younger than our son. Our logical thinking behind this was that we didn’t want to change the birth order. However, we have decided not to put limitations on who we will or will not accept. Boy, girl, baby, teenager, black, white, we will accept whoever is a right fit for our family. The orientation is on February 26th. Only one of us needs to be there for that meeting, but we both will need to be there for the classes that will start May 15th and that will continue for six weeks on Tuesdays, 6-9pm. Now we just need to find a babysitter for our boy while we are at the classes! After the orientation I believe that we will be starting the home study process that we have been told will take about 90 days. It is amazing that I will be “paper pregnant” very soon, and as dream mommy said I will probably have a placement by the end of the year!
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7 comments:
If I lived a little closer I'd tell you to bring the lil' one over and I'd watch him. You can get reimbursed for babysitting up to $3.00/hr and you get mileage reimbursement to and from classes.
I would stick with a child younger than your son and heard that advice given to many people on the fosterparents.com board. If you tell them you will accept teenagers and older kids, that's all they will call you for, but if you specify an age range, they will still occasionally call you for older kids, but most calls will be for younger ones.
I'm sad to say, but the older the child, the more risk of allegations against your family, which could put your son at risk of being taken. That is the part that kinda scares me about foster care. Social services said they would take the foster parents' side, but still scary.
That's just my opinion. We talked to our worker about if we could pick up a child or two from the group home for some weekends/holidays and she advised against it because we may be at risk for allegations.
Also, if you get a teenage girl, you can NEVER leave her alone with hubby!
I wish it weren't this way, but unfortunately, these kids will do anything for attention.
Glad you decided to keep writing. :)
I'm excited and looking forward to reading about your path towards adopting. Don't you just love Dream Mommy... she just knows what to say.
I agree w/ Dream Mommy. We are in the process of adopting our daughter from foster care. We got our first placement about 2 months after our classes were over. You are SURE to have a placement by the end of the year, assuming you're not too limited on the kind of child you will accept. We have had a very positive experience, and will likely open up our home to placements again after the adoption is finalized. What an exciting time for you!!
Saw your comment over at Dream mommy's and thought I would check in.
I've done foster teens with biokids as young as 5 and I am happy with my decision.
What little research there is though does indicate the chidren who foster generally do better when the fostered children are younger than they are
Good luck on the age range decision - wish I had some wisdom to share, but I'm definitely too new at this...
Glad that you'll keep writing.
Wow- this is very exciting!!
I have coame here via dream mommy. It is nice to meet you, I was a foster mom for 10 years it is a hard job. Pleases check out the begining of my book
http://ourrollercoasterride.blogspot.com/
It is my personal ride through the foster care system. We have adopted 3 of our fosterchildren. Hang in there it can be the best thing ever adn a pretty bumpy ride. Good luck. If you dont' mind I owuld like to stop by and see your progress.
Jaye
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