update

We had a great time on our cruise! I would share pictures, but I didn’t bring my digital camera because I couldn’t find it since our house is still a mess from our move. Yes, we finally moved into our house. Yes, we have electricity, water, the whole works. However, the house is still a work in progress and we are renovating the kitchen as I speak. After that we will finish the utility room, master bath and closet. Then, dare I say we will be done with all the “quote on quote” entire essential living space. We will probably need to refinish the wood floors in the kitchen and the office since they had tile covering them and they look a bit discolored. Oh, and I guess we need to re-do the bathroom we are using now, but in comparison to the other work we had to do it will feel easy….I hope!

Let me back up a little to update you all on the little boy that I was hoping to get. As I posted before the boy’s worker had called and wanted to get us into classes ASAP. So I called her the day after I got home from the cruise to see if there was another class starting somewhere that we could attend to get the process moving. When I called and talked to her she acted like she didn’t know who I was anymore and told me that my boy was already placed in another home. She then proceeded to me that there are plenty of kids out there and that I shouldn’t be discouraged. Then she suddenly remembered who I was and went into detail about how the people they placed him with were further along in the certification than we were (obviously)…..but they weren’t even done with classes. Anyway, I hung up the phone and fell apart. I cried and felt so empty. I had never even met this child, but I was so hopeful. All I could think about was my best friend Lisa, and all she has been through, and how well she has kept it together and is a pillar of strength. I was once again humbled by every foster parent in the world who is able to love unconditionally, absolutely, completely. This whole ordeal made my husband and I think seriously about private adoption. Then I looked into it a little and found out it has its own whole lingo and it seems to be very confusing, but I’m sure if we pursue it, I will pick it up, just like ART and foster-adopt speak.

Today I called a private adoption agency in Baton Rouge and left a message. I also called to find out what the hell was going on with getting into classes since I went to the orientation in March. I got a call back today saying that they intended to invite us to the Saturday classes that will start on June 30th-July 14th. Of course these dates conflict with my schedule again since my son is suppose to spend the week of the 4th in Chicago with his father and I was going to leave on June 30th to bring him there. I was just going to stay for the entire month since we are going on a family vacation with Peter’s family on the 14th -22nd and my cousin is getting married on the 28th and I am singing at her wedding. I was all set to call the worker back and tell her that we couldn’t make those dates but then I talked to Lisa and she told me that I should just ask my ex if we could change the week of visitation. He is not unreasonable and I have been more than flexible with visitations so I don’t see it being a huge issue, but we will see. I am also going to call tomorrow to see when the next classes start after these; just to see if it would fit in our schedule better. But honestly, I would love to only spend a week in Chicago and one week in Michigan for vacation this summer. I love Baton Rouge and would rather be here with my husband and child to live my actual life, and not the lives of my large extended family. Enough rambling, I will update you with my decision as soon as I know what it is.