Monday, June 18, 2007

Not the way it should be, just the way it is

I hope everyone enjoyed their Father’s Day yesterday. Honestly, I was glad that I live 1,000 miles away from my own father. It literally took everything I had to even call him. However, when I did he seemed happy to hear from me.

Here is the back story:

As most of you know I am divorced from my son’s father. This obviously did not go over well with my very Catholic close knit family; even though my Ex cheated on me with my best friend. (No, they are not together now.) Anyway, while I was trying to leave the horrible situation my parents and actually most of my family were not very supportive or helpful. It didn’t help that my Ex was spreading lies and acting completely pathetic. When I finally had enough and decided to leave the state, yes I felt the need to get that far away from everyone, my parents, especially my dad, did not help me at all. I packed up and moved my 4,000 square foot house by myself. However, a week after I left, my parents went to visit my son at my Ex’s house and helped him rearrange the furniture left behind.

To add insult to injury my father has continued to see my Ex socially even though we are divorced and I am married to another man who he doesn’t even really acknowledge. This makes me so sad since Peter has taken such wonderful care of me and my son for the past 3 ½ years.

Needless to say our relationship has been strained. Therefore, anytime we spend any sort of extended time together, like when I come visit for holidays, we have at least one huge fight that ends with us not talking to each other. Again, this makes me so sad since my father and I used to be so close. In fact, when I was growing up I preferred him to my mother even though he is technically my stepfather. ( I was adopted by my mother through the foster adopt program and her first husband, my first dad, died in a car accident before it was official; I was 3; my mom got remarried to him when I was 5.) Even when I was first married to my Ex my dad would stop by our house to paint or to just hang out. I looked up to my father so much that I made him the godfather of my son; I couldn’t think of a better example.

Nevertheless, the relationship is what it is and at this point I don’t think it will ever be the way it used to, but at least I am now at peace with it; 1,000 miles away.

Anyhow, we had a wonderful Father’s day at our house. I love my husband so much! He is a wonderful father and husband. I couldn’t imagine my life any other way.

Disclaimer: Of course there is even more to the back story, but I will leave that to another post, another day.

7 comments:

Julie said...

Robin- that is so sad- I hate that your relationship with your father is such a struggle. I am very happy that you have Peter now to create your own family and memories! Hang in there!

JUST A MOM said...

OH MAN it really stinks when your paretn just is NOT who you would have picked. My mother lives 3 miles away,moved here from back home 10 years ago and she just is not very nice. I am just stuborn enough NOT to call. SAD.

Tamara said...

Just wanted to say how much I understand - not to take away from what you said here - just wanted to say "me too". I hope my husband never ever treats Cookie the way my dad treated me when I became an adult.

Lisa said...

I have never been so thankful to have my daddy after hearing of so many other girls who had strained relationships with their fathers. My sis and I are both "daddy's girls."

My dad has lots of "adoptive daughters" so I'd be more than happy to share. I know it won't replace your dad though. He should understand how blessed he is to have a daughter like you.

Lisa said...

I feel for you. I hope things change for the better for you. :)

JUST A MOM said...

ok so do ya think you can post more them once a month? Have a great weekend.

Amanda said...

I'm sorry that I'm just now getting around to commenting.

This is a sad thing, Robin. I hope that eventually you have better memories for Father's Day.